Dr. Sears and Attachment

black_mom_kissing_babyDr. Corinne Masur

So many parents have read Dr. William Sears’ books and tried to approximate his description of attachment parenting. But how many knew that he and his wife developed these ideas not based on research, but based on their own reactions to their difficult childhoods?

It’s very challenging to adhere to his description of ideal attachment parenting (utilizing the co-sleeping technique, wearing the baby, and being as available to the infant and toddler as he suggests), especially for parents who work outside the home, have older children, or have to meet additional family demands.

Now, if the Sears’ work were based on solid longitudinal research, that would be one thing. It would behoove parents to make the sacrifices necessary to adopt some or many of his strategies. However, as it turns out, his theories are not research-based, but are rooted in his and his wife’s fantasies of what would have been better for them as children.

Clearly, a generation of parents have been strongly influenced by the Sears. And for those who were able to take the advice with several grains of salt and to apply their techniques when and where possible, babies may have benefitted from the closeness and attunement of these parents. But MANY parents have suffered the guilt of knowing they were not able to adopt these strategies due to limitations of time, money, energy, etc. And these parents have definitely been done a disservice by the Sears.

To learn more, check out this article in Time magazine and let us know what you think!

The Temptation to Lie…

a87709e487a0fc1a_main-jpg-xxxlarge_2x

Dr. Corinne Masur

In a story about Mar a Lago, Donald Trump’s Florida home, the New York Times reported that there is a nursery, the walls of which are lined with tiles depicting story book figures. Years ago, when showing visitors baby Ivanka’s room, evidently Mr, Trump liked to tell them that the tiles were painted by a young Walt Disney. When he would tell the story, his long time butler would roll his eyes and after the visitors left, Mr. Trump would say to his butler, “You don’t like it when I do that, do you?” and the butler, Anthony Senecal, would say, “No, I don’t. Its not true” to which Mr, Trump would reply “Who cares?”

So…..the truth isn’t important? OR the impression one makes is more important than the truth? There is a temptation after reading this story to think, “Well, if Donald Trump can do that sort of thing and get to be President, why can’t I?” Continue reading

Providing Comfort to Kids in a Time of Increased Worry

holding-hands

Dr. Corinne Masur

No matter whom they voted for, everyone in this country is talking about the election results. Emotions are heightened– many people are shocked, angry, worried, fearful or some combination of these potent feelings. While some are frustrated by people protesting the election results, others are shocked and worried about the results. However, most American are united about one thing: concern over the effect that this turmoil is having on our children.

And if your inbox is anything like mine, emails are piling up with petitions, appeals, etc. But one thing that may be different about my inbox is that I’m also getting requests for help in understanding how children are processing recent events. Moreover, I’m receiving questions about how to provide comfort for children who may be even more afraid and confused than the adults around them.

So I would like to start a dialogue. I will offer a few thoughts, but please, write in and let us know what you have done in your home that’s been helpful and comforting for your children! Continue reading

Answering Children’s Questions about Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton

us-pic

Dr. Corinne Masur

Today I heard about a little girl who came home from school asking if Hillary Clinton is a baby killer.

Another little girl came home asking what it means to “grope” somebody.

These are shocking questions coming from children.

And we as parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and members of the community also have questions: How do we answer the children’s questions? And how do we bear the pain of having to be asked? Continue reading

How Was Your Day? Talking to Children After School

unknown

Dr. Corinne Masur

It’s a time honored tradition for parents, grandparents, and other adults to ask children “how was you day at school?”

And, as any parent or any observant adult knows, these questions usually elicit very little in the way of information. In fact, all you are likely to get is a shrug of the shoulders!

What’s going on here?

Why do adults always ask these questions and why don’t children ever answer? Continue reading