Parenting

Providing Comfort to Kids in a Time of Increased Worry

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Dr. Corinne Masur

No matter whom they voted for, everyone in this country is talking about the election results. Emotions are heightened– many people are shocked, angry, worried, fearful or some combination of these potent feelings. While some are frustrated by people protesting the election results, others are shocked and worried about the results. However, most American are united about one thing: concern over the effect that this turmoil is having on our children.

And if your inbox is anything like mine, emails are piling up with petitions, appeals, etc. But one thing that may be different about my inbox is that I’m also getting requests for help in understanding how children are processing recent events. Moreover, I’m receiving questions about how to provide comfort for children who may be even more afraid and confused than the adults around them.

So I would like to start a dialogue. I will offer a few thoughts, but please, write in and let us know what you have done in your home that’s been helpful and comforting for your children! Continue reading →

Thanksgiving Table Discussions

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Dr. Corinne Masur

People are afraid this Thanksgiving– not of the usual dried out turkey, but of the discussions that are anticipated at the table. Some are even skipping Thanksgiving altogether, in order to avoid painful conversations and heightened tension at their usual holiday gathering places.

This year poses challenges for families. The interpersonal differences and conflicts that we expect to at the holidays are trumped by the election hangover. Families that have members who voted for both Clinton and Trump are grappling with what do do.

For those who have decided to meet anyway, and even for those who agree on the election results, there’s something else to consider: what will the children at the table hear and what does it mean to them? Continue reading →

Answering Children’s Questions about Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton

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Dr. Corinne Masur

Today I heard about a little girl who came home from school asking if Hillary Clinton is a baby killer.

Another little girl came home asking what it means to “grope” somebody.

These are shocking questions coming from children.

And we as parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and members of the community also have questions: How do we answer the children’s questions? And how do we bear the pain of having to be asked? Continue reading →

How Was Your Day? Talking to Children After School

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Dr. Corinne Masur

It’s a time honored tradition for parents, grandparents, and other adults to ask children “how was you day at school?”

And, as any parent or any observant adult knows, these questions usually elicit very little in the way of information. In fact, all you are likely to get is a shrug of the shoulders!

What’s going on here?

Why do adults always ask these questions and why don’t children ever answer? Continue reading →

Back to School!

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Dr. Corinne Masur

No matter how well you plan, when it’s finally time to actually send your children to school in the fall (for the 1st time or the 10th time) it always comes as a shock! Vacation is over; the hubbub and the rushing around of the school year are upon you! And WHO is ready to start THAT all over again?

This week in our parent group, we heard a repeated refrain: the fall rush takes a toll on both parents and children. Continue reading →

What Is Violence in the News Doing to Us As Parents?

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social_media_strategy111Dr. Corinne Masur

In a recent New York Times article, a question was asked: What is this recent violent news cycle doing to us?  I will take the question one step further and ask, what is the violent news cycle doing to us as parents?

That article suggests that we’re all affected by exposure to violence in news that we receive from constant social media blasts, and the author cites a study that found that extroverts, “those described with outgoing personalities,” were found to be more vulnerable to the violent imagery than others. Moreover, the article states that the greater the exposure, the greater the effect.

So what can we parents do to protect ourselves, to protect our parenting abilities, and to protect our children from the powerful effects of overexposure to violence in the news? Continue reading →

How To Talk About Tragedy With Children

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Dr. Corinne Masur

Following the terrible events in Orlando, parents all over the country are thinking about whether to talk with their children about what happened and, if so, what to say.

Moreover, families must think about whether to allow their kids to listen to radio news or watch TV coverage, and whether to talk about what happened in front of children. This event is particularly difficult as it involves not only horrible tragedy but so many other issues: terrorism, hate, homophobia, mental health, gun control– all issues which are difficult to know how to explain to children.

The following are ideas and suggestions. Your family may choose to follow some, to modify others, and to ignore the rest. Each family is different and each child is different, so do what feels right in your particular situation. Continue reading →

Yelling at our Kids

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Dr. Corinne Masur

Do you feel guilty when you yell at your children?

The other day, a dad in our parenting group spoke about feeling guilty for having yelled at his 6-year-old son.  His 3-year-old needed him, and while he was dealing with his younger child, his 6-year-old asked him to do something for him.  The dad said he was busy, and then the older child asked again.  The dad yelled at him to go to his room and then immediately felt that he had done the wrong thing.  He remembered his own father yelling all the time, and worried that he was becoming like his father.

So – did this dad do something wrong?  Is it wrong to yell at your child? Continue reading →

Losing It: Those Lovely Family Moments

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The second in a series of Mindful Parenting posts by Bidi McSorley, MD, beloved Philadelphia pediatrician:

You know those moments – the ones where your child loses it, has a tantrum, and you react and lose “it” too. Afterwards, you seriously question why you wanted to be a parent. These are the times when it’s very difficult to stay present in the moment with your child. It is so hard to react not with anger, but with equanimity. These are the moments when it is difficult to catch yourself, take a breath, and stay calm.

A short explanation of neuroscience will help us understand what happens in these moments. Continue reading →