Mothers

How To Talk About Tragedy With Children

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Holding Hands

Dr. Corinne Masur

Following the terrible events in Orlando, parents all over the country are thinking about whether to talk with their children about what happened and, if so, what to say.

Moreover, families must think about whether to allow their kids to listen to radio news or watch TV coverage, and whether to talk about what happened in front of children. This event is particularly difficult as it involves not only horrible tragedy but so many other issues: terrorism, hate, homophobia, mental health, gun control– all issues which are difficult to know how to explain to children.

The following are ideas and suggestions. Your family may choose to follow some, to modify others, and to ignore the rest. Each family is different and each child is different, so do what feels right in your particular situation. Continue reading →

Yelling at our Kids

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Dandelion

Dr. Corinne Masur

Do you feel guilty when you yell at your children?

The other day, a dad in our parenting group spoke about feeling guilty for having yelled at his 6-year-old son.  His 3-year-old needed him, and while he was dealing with his younger child, his 6-year-old asked him to do something for him.  The dad said he was busy, and then the older child asked again.  The dad yelled at him to go to his room and then immediately felt that he had done the wrong thing.  He remembered his own father yelling all the time, and worried that he was becoming like his father.

So – did this dad do something wrong?  Is it wrong to yell at your child? Continue reading →

Losing It: Those Lovely Family Moments

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The second in a series of Mindful Parenting posts by Bidi McSorley, MD, beloved Philadelphia pediatrician:

You know those moments – the ones where your child loses it, has a tantrum, and you react and lose “it” too. Afterwards, you seriously question why you wanted to be a parent. These are the times when it’s very difficult to stay present in the moment with your child. It is so hard to react not with anger, but with equanimity. These are the moments when it is difficult to catch yourself, take a breath, and stay calm.

A short explanation of neuroscience will help us understand what happens in these moments. Continue reading →

NYT Article on Temperament

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Grandmothers and mothers with more than one child have always known that babies come into the world with their own personalities. But first time parents often suffer, wondering if it’s their fault that their baby cries easily, or seems too sensitive, or is slow to walk, or…

See the recent New York Times article below for more on the importance of temperament in understanding your baby:

http://mobile.nytimes.com/blogs/well/2016/03/14/some-babies-are-just-easier-than-others/?referer=

 

 

Mindful Parenting

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Bidi McSorley, M.D. is a wonderful pediatrician and teacher of mindfulness for parents in the Philadelphia area. Dr. McSorley has been a pediatrician for 30 years, a meditator for over 10 years, and an instructor for the Penn Program for Mindfulness. She has kindly agreed to be our guest blogger this month!

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Mindfulness is the awareness that arises from paying attention in the present moment, on purpose and without judgments. It is being with whatever is (good or bad, desired or not wanted), and not pushing the experience away or holding onto it. It is having equanimity.

So, how does this apply to being a parent? Continue reading →

Gun Violence in Schools

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Dr. Corinne Masur

This week Philadelphia got the double whammy.  On Sunday, an e-mail alert went around to staff of local colleges and universities. A message had been posted on social media threatening an act of violence on an undisclosed college campus in the Philadelphia area on Monday morning.  Tuesday, a gunman was reported to be on the campus of Philadelphia Community College and the campus was put into lockdown. Masterman, a public magnet school for junior high and high school students across the street and Friends Select School, a Quaker k-12 school in the neighborhood also went into lockdown.

My son attends Friends Select.  As I was leaving for work that morning, I received a recorded message on my cell phone saying that due to the presence of a gunman at the Community College, Friends Select faculty, staff, and students were locked in the school until further notice.

I was shocked.  I was frightened.  But more than anything, I was angry. Continue reading →

Is Video Killing the Family Vacation?

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Dr. Corinne Masur

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Yes it is, says Nick Confalone, the man who became famous for making funny Vine videos of his infant son.  In a New York Times article on the topic, Mr. Confalone said of his constant videotaping: “I’m pulling (my family) out of the moment to try to create a version of that moment.”  Rather than enjoying the time with his son, Mr. Confalone realized that he had been taken over by the desire to create something for others to watch and enjoy. And rather than actually being with his son, he was trying to create a visual document about his son for his family to watch later. “Video,” he said, “is such an exact record of a moment that it threatens to replace the memories you have of that moment.”

And then there are the risks involved. Continue reading →